TOPEKA, KS — Vexed by the high price of gasoline, local man Aaron Barnett decided to cast his vote for America to start castrating kids again. "I've had it with these high gas prices! Let's start back ...

ATLANTA — Officials at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced today that they are confident this year's flu shot will be highly effective against last year's strain of flu. "We're ...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following this week's DHS raid on Congresswoman Ilhan Omar's home, Democrats warned President Donald Trump that using law enforcement to target political opponents could set a ...

What if taxes didn't exist? What would our society be like if the government had to rely on voluntary funding? We asked AI to run that simulation and it seems spot on.

PARIS — At long last, the Palestinian people finally have a land to truly call their own. After decades of war, strife, and refusing other offers for sovereign territory, a new nation for Palestinians ...

MIDDLE EAST — A ceasefire has taken hold in the Middle East after President Trump and Iran both forgot whose turn it was to bomb the other. Trump reportedly felt sure it was Iran's turn, but began ...

KEARNEY, NE — The tide turned this morning in the upcoming national midterm elections after Beverly Franks from Nebraska put a political sign in her front yard. Franks, 67, reportedly emerged from her ...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move aimed at protecting coastal states awaiting landfall of Hurricane Isaias, President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Friday declaring all hurricanes illegal.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A federal judge has overturned President Donald Trump's ban on assassins being allowed into the White House. Trump had directed administration officials to start barring would-be ...

SAN ANTONIO, TX — A group of archaeologists at the University of Texas in San Antonio excitedly announced the discovery of a massive skeleton that could provide evidence for the existence of the ...

JERUSALEM — King Solomon held court with his 700 wives and 300 concubines to ask whether or not there is anything to the charges he is a patriarchal misogynist. "Because honestly, I don't see it," the ...

REDDING, CA — Sources revealed that Georgia Mendlerot was over the moon on Friday after her husband recited a verse from Song of Solomon comparing her to a horse. Mendlerot reportedly swooned at the ...